I prayed for over a week with no response. God, why do you give us these periods of quiet? But finally, Thursday I had my final interview scheduled with a church that I was considering and I got an answer from God. I asked “God, I know you have a plan for me and you know where I am going. I have 3 doors cracked open here. Why won’t you tell me which one to walk through?” And His answer was “I won’t answer, because wherever you go, I will bless you.” Okay! Thank you God! If you are going to bless me no matter which door I go through, then I will go through the one I really want.
I turned down the job with the church. I turned down another job with a ministry that does marketing for churches. They were both great opportunities and sure things as far as a job is concerned, but I am taking the trust route here. My church has a spot opening up for the position I really want sometime in January. Although I have to wait and I don’t have a for sure interview even yet, I know that God’s promises are yes and Amen, so I am standing in faith that He will swing the door wide open for that job for me. Lord, please come through on this for me. I trust in You.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
On November 30, I met with the Lord in an amazing moment. I saw myself on this ship in the sea. It was dark and quiet on the water. There was this beautiful, giant, glowing moon hanging in the sky. There was land on 3 sides of the ship, but the land was all very distant from us. We were in the middle of the water and I could not see the land behind me. It was chilly, but the Lord was with me on the ship and He put his arm around me. “Lord, where are we going?” He pointed ahead of us. “To the promised land.” I know He means forward, to restoration of my marriage.
“When will we get there?” “Wait a little bit longer.” This is the same thing the Lord told me years ago, when I prayed and asked God if he would give me my boyfriend to be my husband. His answer then was “I will give this man to you if you want, but you won’t be happy. Wait a little bit longer. The next one will be the right one.” I broke up with that boyfriend. I waited a little bit longer. And the Lord came through so much faster than I expected. I submitted that pain to the Lord and within 3 months, I had met my husband. We got married 2 years later. Thank you Lord, for that encouraging word that you know means so much to me.
Then the Lord told me, “Anywhere your foot touches, you will take ground.” I am not sure completely about what He means by this, except that it has to do with the ministry He has promised to make from this. I also believe it applies right now, as I have been trying to decide what to do about these job opportunities and I know that if I step out in faith and give up the sure thing positions for the job that I really want that comes with greater trust in the Lord and greater risk, He is going to give me that ground. I then asked the Lord, “How will I know when Chris is there?” and He answered, “He will be there when we get there.” Wow. I wasn’t expecting that at all. I have always been the Spiritual leader in our family, so for Chris to arrive at God’s promises before me? It almost seems impossible, but again Lord, I trust you.
I asked Him, “How is he getting there?” and the Lord answered me, “I will make a way where there is no way. On dry land.” I have been praying about that for a long time. I think I now understand what that means though. Our journey’s are different, and I hadn’t understood that before. I assumed that God would do the work in Chris in the same way He did with me. The Lord had to break down my pride and get me to the bottom where there was no other option. With Chris, he needs encouragement. He doesn’t see the future promises the same way that I do. Instead, he has to see a bit of hope in front of him directly and reach for that. Chris is basically learning to move forward and be a leader in our family. He’s learning to walk in his relationship with Christ. He is learning to move and be active. That is why he is walking right now. And maybe the dry land has to do with the fact that things are going well for him right now, because God is trying to give him hope and show him His goodness. I am not sure about that, but I believe it is something to do with that. I will have to pray for more clarity about this, although honestly, his walk with the Lord is his business and mine is mine. What the Lord is teaching me right now is submission. He is telling me to “be still.” That is why I am on a ship, in the water. Waiting. Standing still when I want so badly to run forward. But staying still and trusting that the Lord is going to get me there, not by my own works. While Chris has to do some work to get there.
Then I asked the Lord, “Is there anything else you need me to know?” He smiled and answered “I love you.” and he kissed my forehead. God is so good though and I know He loves me and He wants to love me through Chris too. When the kids and I saw Chris last night, I gave him a hug as we were leaving and he had told me earlier not to kiss him, because he didn’t want to cause me to stumble, but when I hugged him to leave, he kissed my forehead and told me that he loved me. Wow God! You are amazing! To love me so deeply that you would use my prodigal spouse to emphasize it to me again. I know you love me Lord. I love you so much.
Chris told me 3 days ago that he feels like right now, this is right. To not move forward with the divorce and just take time apart to move forward. That as long as we are walking the right way, God will lead us where He wants us to be. He said this was right, because he is learning about things like finances and budget and that he thinks this is all good and his focus isn’t supposed to be me, like I told him before. The focus has to be going the right way. God is this what you meant when you said you would make a way for him on dry land? I am just sitting still in this boat. You are carrying me there. I have to learn patience, trust, obedience, and especially submission. But Chris actually has to walk on dry land. Take active steps one at a time to move forward. He doesn’t have to be still like me. Thank you for revealing this.
That same night, I had another moment with the Lord at worship at Friday night service. The Lord prompted me to get down and put my face low in a bow, so I did. As I was praying, I saw the Lord before me on the throne. He was so big and I could barely see his knees from where I was bowing and He was shining and dressed in white. It was dark all around us. Chris came stumbling in slowly behind me from the darkness and he was tired and worn down and his clothes were torn. He got down beside me on his knees and put up his hands to praise the Lord, then bowed low. Then our clothes changed and instead of our rags, we were dressed in bright shining white. Then the Lord asked us both to stand and we faced each other and took hands. The Lord said, “What the Lord has joined together, let no man separate” and we turned away to the darkness and the Lord said “The two have become one flesh with me. A chord of three.” The Lord is going to join us back together and then turn us to the darkness to begin our ministry. Lord, I know you will do what you are promising. I will wait on you Lord.