He never gives up. He is God. He uses all for His good. It's amazing to me how, even when God calls me to give up and step away from a person, a situation, something that is causing me harm, He stays. He stays right in the middle of that harmful situation and He doesn't give up. I am not strong enough to persist. I am not God. I can not. I was not designed to be strong enough. No, I was not created to be God. God is God. He is strong enough. He does always persist.
I see my ex husband and my heart breaks. The shell of the man still continues. The man of God who I prayed for still remains suppressed. I praise God and thank Him for releasing me from the stand a year ago. A year ago, I was crushed and broken. A year ago, I couldn't believe God was calling me to walk away. A year ago, I begged Him to allow me to continue. He did not. He told me to get out of His way and I did. And a year later, the shell of the man still persists. I couldn't have done another year. God knows that. He knew that and released me. Thank you God for releasing me from the hope of restoration! It was good, it grew me, and it blessed me, but I am grateful to be free from that hope and I am grateful for the hope I have before me!
Salvation. I continue to pray for his salvation. God has blessed me in overwhelming, abundant ways. A new relationship. A new family. New little ones in my life. Beyond that, God is allowing me to continue to be a witness of His love. My ex still sees God shining out of me. Lord, please don't ever give up on that man. I know I needed to. I know you called me to that. It was for you and for my best interest. But do not give up on him. Only you can save. Only you can save. He needs your salvation. He needs You. Leave the ninety-nine and race and persist and fight for the one. I won't give up praying for this man as long as I live and as long as you persist in desiring his heart. God, I know that one day I will see that man, a brother in Christ, in Heaven. You still love him. Just because you've freed my heart from love for him, does not mean that You don't. You do. I forgive him and I know You do too. I pray, please continue to chase him down and seek him out. How can he be lost, when you call him found?