Have you ever felt hopeless? Like just completely without? That's how my month felt. I had started this deep inner healing class which was good for me and jump started the hope in my heart. The problem is hope deferred makes the heart grow sick and my hope has been deferred for a long time. I've been afraid to let that little jolt of electricity move to my heart, just in case it comes back to life and I have to hurt some more.
And sure enough, turns out my fear wasn't too far off. I regained hope! And then I felt disappointment all over again. I know you know what this feels like. It's a deep, empty chasm and it gets deeper every time you try to dig yourself out. As usual though, God stormed in and tore apart the lies.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I've been putting my hope in this dream and promise of a husband. I love my husband. I don't even know him yet, but I love him so much. My heart aches for him and I've been hoping incessantly for him; And keeping my eyes off of who is real hope.
He is the waymaker. The miracle worker. The promise keeper. He is the one who is working on this. He knows I need it. He knows my kids need it. He hasn't forgotten what He promised He would do for us. I've just forgotten. I've just doubted him. I've just believed that I heard Him wrong or that He forgot - and beyond that I haven't even held it against Him that He forgot. He is sovereign you see, and He can forget his promises to me if he wants to. It's just such a lie. God hasn't forgotten. He is orchestrating everything at its perfect time. I realized the other day that my daughter was 1 1/2 when I first received the promise for a husband. She's 5 now. Now, she knows what it is to be wanting and missing a dad. She didn't know that when she was 1 1/2. God's waited, because He wants my baby girl to see the miracle too. He wants her to see and know in her heart that God loves her and is caring for her and her needs also. It was important! It is important!
God cares so much! He cares about the birds and what they eat, the flowers and what they wear. You really, truly think that God doesn't care about who you marry? Who you spend your life with? Who you walk in purpose together with? Who you are bonded to in a chord of three? Of course God cares! Of course He cares! Of course He has a plan and is working it all together! If He cares about the smallest, most minute things, why would He not care about this? Have you not seen Him provide for you over and over again? Financially, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Has He not again and again done miracle after miracle for you? For your home? For your children? For your ministry? For you church? For you family? Why would He not do it in this?!
Brothers and Sisters, I don't know what your promise is or what you are waiting for, but I know God and I know that He didn't rescue you out of Egypt and the pain of that season to walk you through the Red Sea and then drop you in "what is it?" or in "good enough". He has best for you. A Promised Land that's flowing with milk and honey. The grapes are the size of melons. Do we need to talk about the size of the melons? I'm just saying that we serve a good, good God who loves us! He doesn't have just good enough for us. He has best for us. We have to choose to submit our wills to his. So yeah, that might mean waiting longer then you want to. That might mean holding on longer, if God is calling you to that.
For me, God has called me to get out of His way. He's bringing me my husband and I don't even have to look for the man. God's going to bring him right to my door. I am excited! I am hopeful! I didn't need to give myself that hope. God brought it back to my heart! He's good and when you remember who He is, you can be excited about who He is creating you to be and what He is orchestrating in your life. It's good! So good!