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Sex in Marriage and the Love of Christ for the Church

Updated: Dec 27, 2019













For my man, I can be frail and fragile. I don’t have to be strong or take control. I can let him have the reins. For me, he is strong and takes charge. He is rough and I am soft and weak for him. He can take all of me and I will let him have me.

This is how marriage works. It’s why sex within marriage is a beautiful picture of covenant love between us and God. The man takes charge and is the leader, the strength, the one who has control, but he also is gentle and treats his wife with respect and dignity, honoring her and loving her as he loves himself. In the same way, a woman is weak and submissive, but encouraging, enticing, and persuasive. She gives her will away in submission to her husband, knowing she can trust him to care for her and also supporting and encouraging him. Together, they give worship to God in their intimate love for one another. They cause a sweet sound to His ears. They join to one another in intimate love, giving up themselves into one another in the same way that Christ gave himself up for the church and the church in response gives them self up for Christ. God takes control and is strong and powerful, taking the reins and taking control of our lives, as we submit ourselves and allow Him to be in charge. We trust the Lord and know He treats us as weak and in need of his strength. We honor Him with our worship, a pleasing sound to His ears. We encourage and submit our own wills to Him and He gives us the desires of our hearts. And as we give Him control, he is gentle and loving and also strong and powerful in our lives. His heart longs to be loved in an intimate love, just as our hearts long for His intimate love.

Sex is an intimate love, as God’s love for us is. Sex within marriage is a husband saying “May I?” and his wife answering “Yes, you may.” In the same way, God approaches us and ask “May I?” and our response as his bride replies, “Yes, you may.” This is why God will never overthrow our free will. He is strong and powerful. He can take control if He wants to. God will never just take though. This is lust, but God is love. It is who He is.

Lust, the worlds view of sex, is taking of each other. It’s ravenous and ripping away of one another’s flesh. It does not care for the other, but only for self. It says “I am hungry, I am thirsty. I want and will have.” And then it takes. And it tears more then just a persons body. It tears away at their identity. It devalues the person by not respecting or allowing them to give willingly of their body. Their lust in the same way takes of you, just as yours does of them. The world calls this consent, but really this is mutual rape. You take from one another to satisfy self and in the process, lose a piece of yourself. In marital sex, I choose to give myself to you, trusting that will care for and honor me. This is not just in the moment, but for life. The two do become one, because I give of myself willingly to you as you give of yourself willingly to me. We choose one another in covenant.

Love gives, lust takes. Love can’t wait to give. Lust can’t wait to get.


1 Corinthians 7:3-5  A husband should satisfy his wife’s needs. And a wife should satisfy her husband’s needs. The wife’s body does not belong only to her. It also belongs to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong only to him. It also belongs to his wife. You shouldn’t stop giving yourselves to each other. You might possibly do this when you both agree to it. And you should only agree to it to give yourselves time to pray. Then you should come together again. In that way, Satan will not tempt you when you can’t control yourselves.

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