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Take away my care

Isaiah 46:10-13 From the beginning I predicted the outcome; long ago I foretold what would happen. I said that my plans would never fail, that I would do everything I intended to do. I am calling a man to come from the east; he will swoop down like a hawk and accomplish what I have planned. I have spoken, and it will be done. ”Listen to me, you stubborn people who think that victory is far away. I am bringing the day of victory near – it is not far away at all. My triumph will not be delayed. I will save Jerusalem and bring honor to Israel there.”

My prayer today is God, just let me stop caring altogether.

I love Chris and I hate Chris. I love him desperately with this unconditional love that God has placed in my heart for His lost son. And I hate him with all of my spirit and flesh for the things he has chosen to do to hurt me and my kids.

I’ve said it often and right now it still stands true, “There’s a fine line between love and hate.” You have to care a whole to about someone to love or hate them. Well I am tired of caring.

God, I know you are strong enough to change Chris’s heart and bring him back to you and back home to me and our kids. I know you can do it and I know you want to do it, so I know that you will do it. You are powerful enough, your plans for me are good and you are good, and your word is true.

Lord, I also know you are strong enough to change my heart toward him when the time is right. So instead of me holding onto this love and worry for him, please release me from it. I don’t want to care anymore. I promise to remain obedient and faithful to you Lord. You told me not to date and I won’t. You told me to stand on this ground and not move and I will. And when bring him back and direct me that the time is right, I will allow him back into our lives then and allow him to show that you have come into his heart. But I don’t want to be deceived or betrayed any longer by the desires of my heart.

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

I need to guard my heart. I know these desires are from you, but right now they wound me.

Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

I know this will someday be a blessing. A tree of life. But right now it just makes my heart sick. Please Lord, take it away!

I promise Lord to be obedient. That when you tell me it is time, I will allow him back into my heart and I am sure it will be with joy, because it’s is your plan. But right now, Father I don’t want to care at all. Please take away the care. I will continue to pray as you’ve told me to. Please just take away my care for him. Amen

Psalm 119:49-56 Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life. The arrogant mock me unmercifully, but I do not turn from your law.

I remember, Lord, your ancient laws, and I find comfort in them. Indignation grips me because of the wicked, who have forsaken your law. Your decrees are the theme of my song wherever I lodge. In the night, Lord, I remember your name, that I may keep your law. This has been my practice: I obey your precepts.

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